risen

I’m back. Resurrected, risen, returned.

Did the whole move six states away thing, and damn, it was hard.

If you know me, though, you know I don’t give up. Ever. So I’m determined that this was meant to be and adjusting is just hard, but I really do think I am supposed to be here. I get better every day and I feel more and more like myself too.

I’d be writing all weekend if I were to use real form and posts, so, just for my own memory, I’m listing all the major life updates I’ve had since my last post.

  • I had sex with a TC, I, on September 16 at like 1am. Drunk, but not blacked out.
  • I then proceeded to also fuck a PDT, N, on the night of the 21. Well, it was probably early on the 22nd if I’m being honest.
  • My beautiful and sweet 88 year old grandmother, affectionately known as Mimi, passed away in the first week of August. I had to move on the 9th, and between that and other family travel complications, I moved per usual. Then, on the weekend of the 26th, I went back home for the services. It was lovely and filled with family, as she would’ve wanted, but I still miss her dearly.
  • On the 19th I had a sort of episode and flipped out on my brother’s girlfriend, who fucked me over severely, which resulted in me finding a therapist ASAP down here.
  • I found one, Dr. B, and he is possibly the sweetest person I know. I love him and his advice and couldn’t believe I had been missing out on therapy for so long.
  • Because I haven’t been in the best state since moving, I sense that my parents are worried about me and are afraid to make another major life change by divorcing. They continue to lead the same separate lives, like ships passing in the night.
  • I have a deadline of apologizing to my brother’s girlfriend by this Friday, and I haven’t done so yet. Or spoken to her since the 18th of August.
  • A guy who fucked me over at home, MM, texted me today asking if he could see me. HA. No, but it feels good to know that I’m *finally* desirable, ya know? And he’s rushing SC, SN, and KS. We’ll see.
  • I miss home so much. More than I thought I would.
  • I’m trying really hard to do well in school but also sleep and have a social life. So that’s basically just what I’m doing now.

Alright, I have to go. Saturdays in the South… if you know, you know. I’ve missed you, though, and I’ll be back soon.

xx,

instantblonde

 

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