weird relationship wednesday

Recently, during my time as a single lady, I have taken extra note of observing the relationships surrounding me. I definitely have a few friends whose boyfriends or girlfriends I love and can’t wait to pop champagne with at their wedding. Others receive dirty looks or the occasional bashing in the group text. But some are just plain wacky.

Today, I’ll explain one of the aforementioned crazy couples. I hope you get as much enjoyment as I do watching these shitshows unfold. I am not particularly close to this couple, but I see them fair enough and our circles interact frequently. I happen to spend a lot of time near the girlfriend, and, kid you not, have ran into her crying in the bathroom or screaming at him on the phone- or both- several times this year.

This pair, let’s call them Rachel and Roy, who are a year apart. Normally, this isn’t weird, but Rachel is the older one, which immediately sets off some cougar vibes. Roy is a sweet kid with some strange tendencies (i.e. is an avid herbal fan even though we are way, way too old for that. Really.) and is completely oblivious to Rachel’s constant debauchery. Rachel, on the other hand, is a bitch. She, like many of us, including myself, do, suffers from chronic resting bitch face and a crazy streak. She’s a serial cheater and posts Instagrams in such skimpy clothes that she might as well not wear any.

From someone who does not like saying ‘whipped’, since I believe strongly in women being equals in relationships, Roy is whipped. Actually, that’s probably an understatement.  She has cheated on him an endless amount of times and he texts other girls a lot. But, her cheating has been proven twice, even though that’s only a small fraction of the incidents, and he simply refuses to believe it. Despite all this, they still.are.together. after two- yes, twenty-four whole months!! two Christmases!- years of this. After these blowouts, they spend hours screaming at each other, deleting contacts off each others’ phones, and receiving threats of the police being called. True story.

Frankly, I don’t get it. At all. I don’t understand the disloyalty on both sides, though hers is worse, the constant fighting, and just why they keep coming back to each other. Both parties are good looking; she has a great body and has actually modeled before, and he’s cute too. Surely, they both can do better. When they are together, they’re not even that much of a power couple, either. Besides laying on the PDA, I have never, ever heard anyone say how much they “love Rachel and Roy” or “want them to be together”. Hmmm.

How Rachel reacts when anyone sees her crying or screaming at him, even though she does such things in public places: (like, I’m just trying to pee. Relax.)

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[via media.giphy.com]

Maybe opposites don’t attract… this couple is simply crazy on crazy. Thoughts?

xx

instantblonde

set the table

In a lot of ways, I am an old soul. One of those obscurities includes me being obsessed with china, flatware, and tablescapes. For someone my age, I assure you that this is odd.

I believe the obsession started with my mother and grandmother, who each have a special china cabinet and stockpiles of plates, dishes, and so on.

My Pinterest is full of beautiful place settings, and yes, I truly believe setting the table is an art. I’ve attached some of the pictures and scenes I really love, and would, like, totally use if I actually was classy enough had the skill to throw fancy parties. One day, maybe!

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[via Mackenzie Horan of Design Darling, mackenziehoran.com]

tropicalmenuim

[via ruffledblog.com]

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[via homedit.com]

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[via oncewed.com]

Now that we’ve seen how I would set the table if someone threw a dinner party my way, here are some guidelines my mother drilled into my head from a young age that might help you if you ever find yourself in a table-setting predicament:

  • Stick with a theme or scheme: Using colors, textures, and patterns that work well and complement each other looks good, always. Also, themed parties are my ish, and nothing is more fun than eating off of a spiderweb plate at Halloween, or sipping out of a sparkly wine glass on NYE, no?
  • Add layers: If you just set the table with the bare essentials- plates, cups, flatware- then your tablescape is going to suck, unless you hired Ina Garten and the food ‘really shines’. Take advantage of HomeGoods or your mother’s linen closet and add in a tablecloth, runner, flowers, and decorations.
  • Take a risk: It’s the table at Caroline’s birthday brunch, not your life direction, for God’s sake. Take some creative liberty, do something rash, add bold colors, sprinkle glitter- go all out. No one leaves a party and says, “Oh my God, did you see the blue chargers? I hated them against the napkins!” Everyone just talks shit about the girl who had one too many mimosas or how annoying it was that so-and-so texted the entire time. #priorities

Still, I am probably the only girl my age that like genuinely cares about this enough to post about it. But, I am *`~~unique~~`* and my Monday has had me feeling like I’m headed in the housewife direction, so I might as well start setting the tables now.

Cheers.

xx

instantblonde

60 days

If you know me, you know that I love the holidays. Basically, for me, life is good between Thanksgiving and New Years.

Today, my friends, marks sixty- that’s right 6-0!- days till Christmas. I have loved the holidays since I was a little girl, and I think it’s something I’ll never grow out of.

While the sheer thought coming home and dealing with all of that jazz is always something a little tough for me to do, there are a few things that make the holidays worth it… food, style, and so on. Here’s what I’ve been pinning and looking at lately to get hyped for the holiday season:

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[via blondesalad.com, Chiara Ferragni]

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[via pinterest.com, Southern Living Pinterest account]

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[via pinterest.com, etsy.com]

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[via Butcher Baker Blog]

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[via Christmas Lights Etc Blog]

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[via wistfullycountry.tumblr.com]

xx

instantblonde

that face you make when… ii

Regardless of what the stats say, I really loved writing my first ‘that face you make when..’ post, which you can read here, so I’m back with another installment.

Today, I’m inspired by the ever-beautiful and candid Kristen Taekman, ironically, another RHONY cast member. I also read her blog, which has great outfits-even if you’re not as leggy as she is. Bitch.

kristengif

Kristen, this is that face you make when…

the girl who just broke up with her 3rd boyfriend of the month says she’s ‘been single for sooo long!!!”

someone’s way too drunk at the company Christmas party.

a guy you’ve hooked up with hits on your friend.

Sarah asks if everyone’s wearing deodorant. You forgot today, of all days.

you’re wearing Emily’s shirt, and she just texted your group chat asking if anyone has it.

someone stutters during the most boring lecture of your life, and you have to hold the laughter back while analyzing if anyone else is too.

[gif via realitygifs.wordpress.com]

xx

instantblonde

5 on friday

TGIF. This week kicked my behind at work and at almost everything else. I’ve never been happier to stay in on a Friday. No rest for the weary- right into this week’s 5.

  1. Thank You: Truly, thank you all for coming back and reading. Even though I started this ~3 months ago, it’s already so much fun and so rewarding to come and see readers and comments and likes. Cheers for all 12 of you! xx
  2. Breakups: So, not me, but a close friend just broke up with her long-term boyfriend, and is a.freaking.wreck. It’s been over a week, almost two, and the crying in public, obsessing over his social media, etc. is endless. What do we do to help? It’s not like she’s not busy, so that’s not the issue. We did girls night, and it- shockingly- didn’t help. I think she just needs to be ready to pull the Band-Aid off and let go, right? But, hell, what do I know? Advice needed.
  3. Good Neighbors: I never realized how nice it is to have nice neighbors until I met my current ones. J + D, never move! Thanks for putting up with my late night arrivals, constant music, and appearances at the mailbox in my PJs or last night’s outfit.
  4. Justin Bieber: I’ve mentioned him before as making a comeback, and damn was I right. His new song Sorry is too good. Listen here. See also: I want him and Selena to get back together now that his life is back on track.
  5. Art: I talked about finishing my room as one of my 1 year goals, but making progress is harder than I thought. So far, I have a lot of white and turquoise, and I think grey is the next accent layer to add. With that said, I’m looking for art now, and have lots of choices ahead. The piece will hang directly above my bed, so it’s important that I decide the right direction… photos on canvas or an oil or watercolor piece? Something bold or more neutral? Should I frame it or not? These are the things that keep me up at night.

selenaim

[via @iLGDaily twitter]

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[in a nicer way, though. via pinterest.com]

Linking up to April at A. Liz Adventures again this week. By the way, she’s pregnant, so stop over and wish her well!

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xx

instantblonde

mascara changed my life.

I’ll never forget the spring day in seventh grade when my grandmother, bless her heart, brought over a Clinique gift with purchase, a little cosmetic bag with bright green apples and Clinique written in fancy font all over it. Inside was my first ever mascara, the Lash Doubling Classic in a little gray and silver tube. With my first swipe, I was hooked. It was… magical. My mom did say, however, that I looked like a streetwalker. #typical

With my light blonde hair and barely-there lashes, mascara truly makes all the difference. I look more awake and, I dare say, alive.

Since that first time trying mascara all those years ago, I’ve tried many, many varieties and have only found a few tried and true, go-t0s that I can count on no matter what. Finally, I’ve narrowed it down to two rock-solid options: one high end and one drugstore-available. And they are…. drumroll please……

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Benefit’s They’re Real and Maybelline’s Great Lash Curved.

 I have been using both of these for over two years (!!) and cannot love them any more than I do. I expect a lot out of my mascaras- length, lasting power, volume, and clumpiness, or lack thereof- and these fit the bill. Everything else I’ve tried, from Dior to CoverGirl, doesn’t hold a candle to these.

Benefit’s They’re Real:

  • offers great length AND volume
  • the ball at the end of the wand is great for lashes on the inner and outer corners
  • layers well
  • is my go-to for full makeup, as it really is a true black
  • however, it is expensive and dries up FAST unless you screw the cap on completely every time you shut it. This seems to do the trick and makes it last longer.

Maybelline’s Great Lash Curved:

  • is cheap. You can’t beat the price.
  • easily accessible- I see it at Target, Walgreens, RiteAid, etc
  • one coat is a great “I’m not wearing makeup” look
  • is better for length
  • gets darker with each application
  • lasts a long time for being under $5 and doesn’t dry as easily as Benefit’s
  • however, I wouldn’t use this for more than two or three (max) coats, since it can clump a little, but still nothing bad. Also, it can be hard to get at inner lashes or outer ones.

I feel like Jesus, having just preached good news to everyone. Wow. Go in peace add these favorites to your makeup bag! Or drawer, if you’re a hoarder like me.

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[Olivia Palermo rocking some long, wispy lashes. via totalbeauty.com]

xx

instantblonde

when I saw that car…

Last night, I was scrolling through my twitter feed before bed, as usual, when I saw the tweet. It’s sad that we were once so close, and now the only way we keep up with each other is through Twitter. But I guess that’s the way it goes these days.

Anyways, it was a picture of the car- that one weekend Jeep you’ve always wanted, the one with the features you’d been dreaming of and everything. Months ago- six, to be exact- we dreamed of that exact car, and how we would have so much fun road tripping, going to football games, and singing way too loudly in it. We looked forward to that car so much.  It wasn’t just a personal accomplishment for you and something to look forward to, but a sign of our relationship lasting.

Well, so much for lasting. We broke up almost a week after that conversation about the Jeep, now a half a year ago, give or take. How much has changed in half a year? A lot… today, if I saw you on the street, I’d run into the nearest building for cover. I’d text my best friend, freaking out, and my heart would be beating out of my chest.

I know it’s stupid, but I’m still really upset. And no, I hadn’t muted him, because he rarely tweets anyways and I couldn’t bring myself to remove himself from my life that much. Weak, I know.

But that tweet just reminded me of everything we used to be. Our friends used to think we would be one of those youngish couples that ends up together. Everyone rooted for us. I realized: you’re moving on with your life and achieving all the goals you’d set. Everything you talked about wanting is there, except me. I was left behind. Maybe it’s for the better, but it still hurts like hell.

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Because I needed something perfect and happy in such a sad post. [via tumblr.com]

xx

instantblonde